Sez Me …
Do me a favor. Watch a basketball game and edit it by hand, with a blue pencil, instead of AI.
There’s a week left in the NCAA Tournament, which means I’ve watched as much basketball this year than I did at this time last year.
Which means the college game. It is far from perfect, but still full of meaning and great ion, especially in March and April.
I’d love to be the czar of basketball, the poobah of hoops, the king of string, the dream weaver of baskets, and return it to the game I once loved more than any other.
It wouldn’t involve the NBA, because while these brilliant, spoiled athletes may think they’re playing basketball, they absolutely are not. They do a great job figuring out what nights they’re going to sit it out.
As Bobby Jones said of Jack Nicklaus: “He plays a game with which I am not familiar.”
So, as czar of basketball, I would make some changes, most of which wouldn’t have to be made if changes hadn’t already been allowed to be made:
Traveling: I suppose I have more than one bane involved in my existence. Traveling is one. They let it go — obviously, they’ve taught officials not to call it — and now it’s rampant.
Michael Jordan was the master traveler. He was ground zero. Now I can’t imagine what he could get away with. But, for me, it has ruined the game. I constantly am amazed how this is allowed. The players aren’t running backs. The ball is meant to be dribbled. Steps. I hate steps, on and off the court.
The Eurostep, by the way, is European for traveling.
Carrying the ball: The dribbler’s hands weren’t allowed to be put under the ball. But they are allowed now, and with such extraordinary ball handlers given a full pardon, it’s amazing anyone can stay in front of them.
I suppose Magic Johnson started it all with his 6-foot-9 dribbles. But it’s more than that. It’s ugly. These guys don’t need the incredible advantages allowed to create by computer instead of analog.
The 3-pointer: Eliminate it. Now. The worst thing that has happened to the game. Bob Knight obviously hated it from the beginning, and it was a novelty for years — until Steph Curry. Steph was/is so good at it, kids thought they could be him. They can’t.
So what do we get? Threes being fired up from turnstyles. Coaches doing nothing about it. Players not learning how to make their own music, developing their own shots.
Which leads us to …
Dunks: People still get excited by dunks, which I’ll never understand, enormous people jamming a ball in a hoop. Is that really a skill? Kareem, when he was Lew Alcindor, couldn’t dunk. It was banned from 1967 to 1976. So he developed the Sky Hook, the most unstoppable shot in history.
It will never be banned again. But it would be — if I were czar.
Altitude: I agree with our Mark Zeigler. Tournament teams (in this case BYU) housed in altitude cities shouldn’t be allowed to play tournament games at altitude. Incredible advantage.
Fouls: The last two minutes of college games last forever. Teams playing poorly foul, hoping for missed free throws. These are intentional fouls. Allow the team that has been hacked to take the ball out of bounds.
Replays: Enough with the play stoppage. If officials can’t get calls right, find them another place of employment.
Does any of this affect outcomes?
BYU made the Sweet 16 playing at altitude and was eliminated coming down to earth. Maryland’s Derek Queen’s game-winner vs. Colorado State was great. Except he traveled. In the college game, that was a travel.
In the NBA, that was standing still. …
MLB opening the season during the NCAA’s? Crude. Rude. Not Good. …
Fernando Tatis Jr. should lead off for the Padres. Always. …
Justin Pippen, son of Scottie, announced he’s entering the transfer portal — with his Michigan team still in the Tournament. …
My favorite player in the Tournament has been/was Purdue point guard Braden Smith. The event hasn’t seen many players who can visualize the court and the ball like this kid. Brilliant. …
The Tournament is enjoying its highest TV ratings since 1993. NBA fans entering the transfer portal, is all.
March is going along swimmingly and then USC’s JuJu Watkins tears up her knee. Devastating. I am saddened. …
I am not sold on Cam Ward as the No. 1 pick in the NFL draft. Nor do I think he’s the best quarterback in the draft. I like Shedeur Sanders’ feel for the game. …
The Giants have signed Russell Wilson. The NFL equivalent of throwing the white towel into the ring. …
If the G Men draft a QB at No. 3, that guy would be in the quarterback room with Wilson and Jameis Winston. One seat too many. …
Tiger Woods asks for privacy regarding his latest girlfriend, the president’s ex-daughter-in-law. So he posts photos of them together on X/Twitter/whatever. …
World Athletics is making the 300-meter hurdles an official event. Why? This is for runners who don’t quite have enough for the 400, which is a fantastic event. …
New Stanford GM Andrew Luck says the football program needs a “reset,” so he fires coach Troy Taylor at a very awkward time. Here’s what Stanford needs to do to matter in the college game: Allow any student with a C average to enroll. And it’s doubtful the world’s greatest combination student-athletic institution is going to do that. …
Happy 53rd anniversary to “The Godfather.” Best movie ever made. And if you don’t agree, I know some people. …
Happy birthday, Marcus Allen. I covered his first game at Lincoln High, and since then, I’ve never seen a better all-around football player. …
Santa Ana Mater Dei has signed a 10-year, 7-figure deal with Payfly. Mater Dei is a high school. The Notre Dame of the prep world. …
LeBron says The Greek Freak would score 250 points in a 1970s NBA game. Why not now, what with so many players’ idea of defense is standing around and iring. …
Hindsight. I’m so pleased I turned down Oppenheimer’s invitation to partake in the Manhattan Project’s classified chat. …
I don’t know how it happened, but we have become a nation of political amateurs who turn in every night lying on a bed of lies and wake up with Pollyanna Syndrome. …
The Dodgers will visit the White House, saying it’s an “honor.” But they could be lying. …
There is a new study claiming people obsessed with golf are more intelligent. Smartest thing I’ve done was quitting. …. …
I hope they’ve fixed that monster rectangular pothole on Camino De La Reina. If not, the Town and Country Resort can use it as an overflow pool. …
Judging strictly by price and availability, the age-old conundrum is solved. The egg had to come before the chicken. …
Something they don’t tell you in those Chamberlain University nursing school TV ads. To get in, you must have a GPA of 7 feet.
