It was a wedding to .
The gorgeous bride was the oldest of three beautiful girls, the progeny of my daughter’s friend of over 50 years.
My wife and I were thrilled to be included in the invitation.
It was held at the beautiful Park Hyatt Aviara Resort in Carlsbad.
I didn’t have the impertinence to ask what that wedding cost, but my wife estimates it was probably more than we paid for our house.
The dinner included a choice of filet mignon or two other fabulous options along with all the fine wine you’d like.
Add cocktails and hors d’oeuvres before dinner and that beautiful wedding cake after.
My daughter insisted on purchasing a room for us so we wouldn’t have to drive home.
I didn’t have the impertinence to ask what she paid for it, but my wife estimates probably more than we’d get for our car.
Paying for the room was an incredibly generous gesture, so I insisted on buying breakfast the next morning.
This time there was no need for conjecture because I got the bill.
It was over $200.
For breakfast.
But that was for four people, and it was a buffet, which meant you could have all the eggs you could eat.
I checked the egg prices at the supermarket, and they tend to cost about 25 cents apiece. I only had two but needed to eat 200 to break out even.
But that was only my portion of the bill. If I took into the rest of our party, we would have had to consume 800 eggs.
But my son-in-law had two and my daughter only one.
It meant we fell short of the break-even point by 795 eggs.
My wife had no eggs at all, opting instead to have toast and jam.
Toast! At a $200 buffet!
I begged her to have an omelet since a chef was there to turn breakfast into a banquet.
But she had toast.
With jam.
I wanted to slip a few of those fabulous pastries they had into my pockets, but I caught that scowl from my bride.
“It’s all you can eat,” she muttered, “not all you can secrete.”
I should have had more wine at dinner.
My wife was upset that I whined about a $200 tab when we were treated to the most lavish and magnificent celebration imaginable compliments of our incredibly generous wedding hosts.
Not to mention, my wife added, we got to celebrate the bond between that wonderful young couple.
She’s right, of course. It was a beautiful wedding, an amazing dinner, in the middle of the most gorgeous setting, at a fabulous resort, hosted by extraordinarily magnanimous parents.
Still, just for the sake of accuracy, it wasn’t only $200 we laid out, since there was also the wedding gift.
I don’t have the impertinence to state what it cost, but we could have stayed for lunch.
Erdos is a freelance humor columnist. him at [email protected].
