No doubt you’ve seen those repeated TV commercials with that guy who appears in someone’s bathroom peddling pillows.
Those trusting homeowners seem quite calm. In fact, it would be fair to say, they even appear happy to see him.
The stranger in their bathroom!
The next minute the couple is lying in their bed testing the new pillow with the intruder standing over them.
I don’t know who conceives of such commercials, but am I the only one who finds it so far-fetched? Does no one question why that young couple would be welcoming that treser so warmly, as opposed to, say, reaching for a weapon?
I’d like to take a poll to see how a typical couple might react to a stranger suddenly appearing in their bathroom. I suspect they’d become rather aggressive, even if the intruder does bring news of a new and improved pillow.
If the homeowners had, in fact, taken a more combative stance and the matter wound up in a court of law, I’m certain they’d be exonerated.
Judge: You are accused of attacking this man with a frying pan. How do you plead?
Defendant: Not guilty, your honor.
Judge: But he was only selling pillows. You testified he had a smile on his face and appeared rather affable. Didn’t you have the feeling he was probably harmless? Can you tell the jury if there was actually a good reason for such hostility?
Defendant: He was in my bathroom.
I would think in such a circumstance, the jury would determine the assault was justified.
What I find so hard to believe is the fact that viewers would be so willing to accept a scenario where a couple finds a stranger in their bathroom and they respond as though he were a long-lost uncle.
That poll I’d recommend would survey viewers about how they might react if they were confronted with such a circumstance.
It might read something like this:
If you discovered a total stranger in your bathroom, would you assume he was:
A) A burglar
B) An escaped convict
C) An ax murderer
D) A pillow salesman
I’m often approached by a variety of salesmen, but they tend to appear at the front door.
Lately, I’ve been bombarded by folks selling solar installations. But regardless of the product, they tend to make their appearance by ringing the doorbell.
As a safety measure, I have a peephole. I peer through it and decide if I choose to ignore the person altogether or open the door. Personally, I don’t like the idea of receiving strangers unless an appointment had been arranged.
Any way you see it, I prefer that front-door approach over a surprise appearance beside my toilet.
I can’t speak for others, but my guess is that a salesman who approaches a homeowner at the front door as opposed to inside their bathroom would have an infinite better chance of leaving with a sale instead of a coroner.
Erdos is a freelance humor columnist. him at [email protected].
