Beau Hill, a peer specialist for Vista Hill, tried to counsel a homeless woman at Alpha Project’s Rosecrans Shelter, but she resisted. The woman had given up on life and shouted at Hill, “What do you know!? You don’t stand in my shoes!”
Hill, 55, told the woman about his life. If he could deal with his demons, she could too.
After a lengthy, tearful discussion about living and hope, the woman took the first step toward recovery.
Hill, who sees about 25 people daily at the shelter, knows from his own experience that helping the homeless is often about dealing with lifelong trauma.
Born in 1967, Hill grew up in Florida, living with three cousins, his mother and grandmother. He never met his father.
He describes his upbringing as “very dysfunctional. A lot of physical and sexual abuse starting at age 6 and continuing to 15. No one did anything to stop it. I spent a lot of time running away and in group homes.”
At 12, he was introduced to marijuana and alcohol when he was placed with a family of constant s and drinkers. By 15, he smoked marijuana regularly and believes he was an alcoholic.
He also was bullied in high school for being gay, adding to his trauma.
At 19, Hill met and fell in love with Wayne. They remained together 26 years until Wayne’s death from cancer in 2012.
The couple moved to Alaska, Seattle and Montana as they followed job opportunities. While in Seattle, Hill, who has a high school diploma, worked for Microsoft in customer desktop . In Montana, he started his own business refurbishing computers.
However, he says he could not keep jobs or maintain a business due to his alcoholism and methamphetamine addiction.
After Wayne’s death and with no family relations, Hill felt alone. He turned even more to drugs.
In 2015, at 48, he moved to San Diego to disperse Wayne’s ashes. Within two years, his money ran out and Hill was homeless living on downtown San Diego sidewalks.
“I felt no one loved me and no one cared,” he said. “I just got high all day.”
“I got beat up one night and left for dead on the trolley tracks. I got beat up at least once a month.”
He was in and out of jail for misdemeanor offenses and tried to hang himself in jail.
Hill found some solace on the street. “Once you make living on the street a way of life, there is some romanticism. You don’t answer to anyone and have no bills to pay.
“I was part of a community.
“At the time, it felt like a good life. As I got away from it, it didn’t.”
The turning point for Hill happened in 2018 when he was charged with felony assault and faced three years in prison.
A judge offered him a chance to avoid prison if he completed Behavioral Health Court, a tough, two-year diversion program of counseling, frequent drug testing, job preparation and housing .
“It was hard,” Hill said. “You have to follow the rules and stay clean and sober.
“I’ve been telling myself I was worthless, broken, most of my life. Those thoughts had to end. People now cared about me.”
After 19 months, Hill graduated with a job, sobriety and . He continues with Narcotics Anonymous and knows he must always maintain sobriety.
“I was done with the dark side. This program saved my life,” Hill said. “A light came on that I have purpose. I can help others, be an example and be there for them.”
Today, Hill is a certified peer specialist and expects to receive Medi-Cal certification in 2023.
He advises those living on the street to accept help. “Come see me at Vista Hill,” he said. “I will go above and beyond. I will hold your hand, sit with you and walk with you. I’m there for you because I know how hard it is when you are alone.”
About this series
Jan Goldsmith is an Emeritus member of the U-T’s Community Advisory Board. He is an attorney and former law partner, judge, state legislator, San Diego city attorney and Poway mayor.
Someone San Diego Should Know is a column written by of the U-T’s Community Advisory Board about local people who are interesting and noteworthy because of their experiences, achievements, creativity or credentials.
