It appears the pandemic has left yet another economic concern in its wake, namely, disruption of the global supply chain.
But although the issue has been in the forefront of the news, I have been fortunate to remain immune to the problem since I have a Costco card.
A recent visit to the popular big-box store left me with one question: What supply chain disruption?
I noted no shortages, no empty shelves.
The only issue was my wife’s repeated appeal to stop shopping there, insisting I continually buy stuff we don’t need.
As proof, she asked me if I was able to recite the items I just purchased, all of which were still lying in the trunk of my car.
“Milk, toilet paper, popcorn and pistachios,” I replied.
I’m sure I could have recounted more, but she gave me a time limit.
She suggested I failed the test since I was only able to four out of the over 40 items I actually purchased.
“It tells me,” she moaned, “we never needed 90 percent of what you bought.”
But I argue that my imperfect memory does not negate the fact that we saved a small fortune.
Take the milk. It would have cost twice as much at the local supermarket.
But she contends that I had to buy 2 gallons in order to obtain the savings, and that made no sense since I alone consume it and only on the odd occasion I have a bowl of Cheerios.
But she failed to acknowledge the cat has some too, and it’s one of the few things the poor thing is still capable of enjoying despite her advanced age and mounting physical impairments, including the loss of her eyesight back in 2016.
But despite her failings, that cat must have the gift of eternal life.
Who can say it’s not the milk?
And as far as my wife’s argument suggesting bulk buying isn’t always the answer, that might have made sense before I bought that freezer, a highly practical addition where the milk is stored and which was on sale because it had a small crater in the door.
My wife accessed the calculator function on her smartphone, plugged in the discounted dollars of the bargain milk, plus how long it would take such savings to cover the price of the appliance and the added utility charges, and determined we will have made up the entire cost of the dented freezer in exactly 12 years past our life expectancy.
But I argue that just because we may not be around to enjoy all of our possessions, doesn’t mean they’re not assets our kids will eventually come to appreciate.
“You’re right,” she concurred. “And I’m certain the day will eventually arrive when they learn the exciting news that they have become heirs to the family’s frozen-milk fortune.”
But she knows full well they will be inheriting a lot more than just milk, but also the freezer that holds it, as well as a huge supply of toilet paper, an abundance of extra virgin olive oil, tuna, peanut M&M’s, rice, mayonnaise, prostate supplements and a blind cat.
humor columnist Irv Erdos at [email protected].
