It’s always a joy marking my wife’s birthday, but it never comes without a challenge.
That’s because she has a hard time accepting gifts she deems extravagant.
But that doesn’t stop me.
So I’ll search for jewelry: a beautiful bracelet, maybe diamond earrings, perhaps a gold necklace.
And then, on her birthday, I’ll eagerly present it.
She’ll open it, let me know how beautiful it is, tear up a little, give me a big kiss, then tell me we can’t afford it.
What’s more, she insists I return it.
So, reluctantly, I bring the jewelry back to the store and get a refund.
But although I had to return it, the result is still a grateful wife who appreciates the generous efforts of her adoring husband, a man who feels there’s no gift too great for his beautiful bride.
All that gratitude, and boundless iration at no cost.
I have a friend who, like me, also buys his wife expensive jewelry. The difference is, she keeps it.
Some people find joy in physical adornments while others rise above such earthly indulgences and understand what’s really important in life.
I’m not suggesting my wife only returns expensive items. Sometimes, it’s simply a matter of not meeting her exacting taste. Like when I tried to pick a gift from that list of recommendations in the recent Union-Tribune story called “End-of-summer checklist.”
It included suggestions like a day at the ballpark, a wine tasting tour, a concert at The Shell, or swimming with the sharks.
That shark idea caught my attention as it included an aerial photo of the crystal-clear La Jolla sea crammed with 70 sharks (I counted them).
The option was to kayak above them or snorkel with them. I chose the latter, knowing it would make a unique and memorable gift. Sadly, she got a little woozy just reading the card.
So she had me return it, just like I returned the skydiving lessons I bought her last year.
So, no, it’s not always the cost that annuls a gift, but personal preference.
Some may question my motives, suggesting I intentionally purchase gifts I know she’ll reject. But should I be held responsible for her curious preferences? Besides, it’s the thought that counts, and there’s no dispute about my generous and heartfelt thoughts.
Moreover, a valuable consequence of returning those expensive gifts is a safeguard of the family’s financial health, an endeavor she fully s.
Still, there’s a small part of me that suffers a little heartache each time a gift is rescinded.
Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of offerings she’s happy to hang on to.
Like that box of chocolates.
It was a backup gift I presented to her on the possible chance she might reject the shark swim. Last year it was peanut brittle that served as my fallback gift in the event she opted not to jump out of an airplane.
“Have some chocolate,” she generously offers. I would turn her down, but no one knows better than I the pain that can endure when a gift is declined.
humor columnist Irv Erdos at [email protected].
