This year I am thankful to be thankful.
You might be saying, well, thanks, Captain Obvious — thankfulness is what Thanksgiving is all about. It’s in the name even.
No, no, let me explain why I’m thankful. And how I am now purposefully thankful.
As stressful as 2020 has been on all of us, 2019 was almost a precursor for me. A rehearsal, if you will.
My mom’s death, financial stress, being out of shape and strained relationships all were part of my life narrative last year. By the time late autumn arrived, and the holiday season, it all seemed to culminate.
So I did a highly irrational thing — I took a trip. An opportunity arose to see a friend get inducted into the National College Football Hall of Fame in New York City in early December. I made the decision that I was going. Could I afford it? No. Would the weather be ideal? No.
But I think just making the resolute intention allowed for things to happen. A close friend who I invited mentioned he had airline miles and that his college roommate lived in Queens — hence, we had assistance with travel and a free place to stay. The day before our trip, a long-awaited payment from a client arrived. Suddenly the impossible seemed possible.
It was a wonderful trip, as I had also always wanted to see New York City at Christmas time. But the most important aspect: I got away from my daily life and did a lot of thinking. It led to this conclusion: I am not OK right now. I was experiencing depression and anxiety.
Upon our return home, I opened up about that to loved ones. When the New Year began, I started seeing a therapist. Therapy is something we all need, to unlock our past and improve our future. For me, it was a revelation.
One of the first things my therapist did was ask me to create a “Gratitude List.” So, on my phone, I started a running list of things for which I am grateful. Some are fairly common (my friends and family), others are geared toward tastes (sometimes literally — bacon!), and others are more philosophical — lessons taught through hardships and adversity.
At first it seemed like a panacea. Then I realized it was a mindset. As 2020 went on, the more I started looking for things to be thankful for, the better my life became. I started realizing so many things I was taking for granted, and started looking at adversity as opportunity. It influenced the very first thoughts I had when I awoke, then all the way to the end when my head hit the pillow.
This year has certainly had challenges. But by focusing on the things I’m grateful for, those challenges don’t seem insurmountable. I’ve overcome business adversity, physical injury and even a dating heartbreak, primarily because of my new outlook. My mental health is, I believe, better.
It all begins by living in gratitude. Make a list. Mine is almost at 200.
Montoya is a writer and speaker living in East Village.
